All alone

They've gone and left me again.

The only company I get is when the nice cat feeder comes twice a day. He sometimes brings a friendly lady who likes to spend time playing with me. But that's the highlight of my day. Apart from that, there is no-one to stroke me; no lap to sit on; and no-one to play with. It's all very boring, really.

I do hope they come home soon.

Christmas?

Mrs Servant has piled up the Christmas cards into a big stack. She obviously can't be bothered to string them up with ribbon and hang them from the walls like she usually does.

She hasn't even bought a tree this year. Let's hope she remembers to buy me my customary tub of cream for my present.

Since there is clearly no effort at making the sitting room look festive, I have decided to do my impression of a china ornament.

Waisted

What have Scarlett O'Hara and I got in common? We've both got 18 inch waists.

Not that I eat all that much. All I'm given is some nasty stuff in foil pouches that I eat under sufferance and a few grams of little brown biscuits. I have to admit the biscuits are very tasty, but they are weighed out v-e-r-y c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y by Mrs Servant.

Oh, to have tuna fish morning, noon and night! And double cream at regular intervals in between. (Sigh)

The fake dog

Yesterday, Mrs Servant thought she would trick me by putting a Yorkshire terrier by my bed. I admit it looked quite a lot like a Yorkshire terrier but it was, in fact, a handbag.

Did she really think I can't tell a fake from the real thing? After all, dogs move and make noises. And I can smell them at 100 paces.

She must think I was born yesterday.

A favourite snoozing place of mine

Regulars to this blog will know I have a favourite sleeping spot in the winter: as close as possible to the radiator in the hall. I do, however, enjoy an occasional rest in the airing cupboard.

It's excellent camouflage, too. I can hide away here among the bed linen for ages without The Servants guessing where I am.

What I have to put up with

Mr Servant likes to trap me in a vice-like grip and prevent me from moving a single inch. What he doesn't realise is I'm only a small cat and he is huge.

Just look at the way he tries to clear the sleep from my eyes...

The squirrel

There's this rather annoying squirrel who pokes around the pots on the balcony. I like to chase him off whenever I get the chance - there's something about him that just irritates me.

Mrs Servant put some bread out for the birds the other day because it was cold (I love it when she does that - I get a perfect birdy floor show to watch from the other side of the French window. Pity there's no cat flap or I could hop out and catch one.)

Anyhow, the bread. The birds didn't get a look in at all, because the squirrel just sat there and chomped his way through the whole lot...

He's back

The horrible black cat who likes to attack me is back. Problem is, he's smaller and younger than I am and so much fleeter of foot.

I'd thought I'd seen the last of him because he hasn't been around for ages. He's got a nasty wailing miaow and he is no respecter of MY territory.

Once he bit my tail until it bled. He really crunched into it. I had to go to the vet and have an injection and then take tablets for a week. It was a traumatic experience and I'm very unhappy to see that he is back.

It wasn't me

Mr Servant was cross yesterday because, every time he tried to print something, the paper kept on getting caught up and going wonky.

He then discovered the key to the window lock was stuck in the printer and, of course, I got the blame. He jumped to the conclusion that I had knocked it in when I jumped down from the window ledge.

He has no proof. It could just as easily have been Mrs Servant who dropped the key into the printer when she was locking the window. It's most unfair the way I get told off for stuff.

My chewy cable

When I feel like a bit of distraction, there are two things I enjoy doing. One, as I've already mentioned, is diving onto - and into - my hessian sack. The other is chewing my cable. It was black and fairly thick at first but it now seems to be much thinner and have lots of different colours. You can see me enjoying a chew on my cable in the short clip below.

Things that scare me

I'm generally a brave cat and will face up to dogs as big as labradors. I once even shoulder-biffed a rather-too-curious-for-its-own-good little dog and sent it sprawling. I say 'little' but it WAS twice my size.

However, brave as I may be, there are certain things that never fail to scare me.

• tin foil (just seeing Mrs Servant take the foil out of the drawer is enough to make me flee)
• plastic bags (that incredibly loud rustling noise they make really alarms me)
• fireworks
• nasty dogs (especially Taz)
• going to the vet

Lazy, moi?

I often hear Mrs Servant complaining that I'm a lazy cat, because all I do is sleep. But, in my defence, that's what cats do. We sleep.

Even lions spend most of their day asleep. And, I have to say, what's wrong with a long-ish snooze during the day? There's nothing finer than curling up in my lovely bed and getting a bit of well-earned shut eye.

And, besides, I'm very active every morning at 4am when Mrs Servant is fast asleep.

Foxes and rabbits and things

One of the fantastic things about living in a small park (as I do), is there is an endless supply of birds to stalk and chase. I'm not very good at knowing all the different sorts but there are big black ones, small black ones, different sized brown ones, yellow and blue ones and even black and white ones.

There are also about six or seven squirrels that I like to annoy. Although they are far too quick for me when they shoot up tree trunks.

The downside is the family of foxes that lives in the park. I can stand my ground very well against them but Mrs Servant won't let me out when it's dark, because she thinks they'll attack me. And I love going out in the dark.

Anyhow, imagine my surprise the other day when I saw four rabbits! They were down by the leisure centre, hopping about quite happily. They'd better watch out as I bet that nasty dog Taz will attack them.

Athlete's paw

I've got athlete's paw in my hind right paw and it's itchy.

It means that twice I day I have to be seized by Mr Servant while Mrs Servant puts this cold gunky stuff on it. Then, although I try and wriggle away, I'm forced to stay on Mr Servant's lap for what seems ages.

When I am eventually set free, it takes me ages to lick all that stuff off.

Bonfire Night

I hate Bonfire Night. All those bangs and whizzes really scare me. I know I'm safely inside but it feels like they're going to shoot right in the room and land on me.

And, the thing is, these loud noises go on ALL week - not just tonight. So I've got several stressful evenings ahead of me. I think I'll go and hide in the dark in Mrs Servant's bathroom. I'll be safer there.

Good places for a nap

I reported last week that I like to spend time warming myself by the radiator in the hall. While that's true, I also have other places I like to take a nap. Such as the airing cupboard (bit messy), Mrs Servant's wardrobe (even messier) and Mrs Servant's bathroom (nice and dark when the light's off).

I'm not feeling very well

I'm sick today and feeling sorry for myself. I just hope Mrs Servant doesn't take me to the vet, because I get really scared when I go there.

Once, I had to spend the entire day at the vet's. Mrs Servant just abandoned me there. They put me in a horrible cage and I hissed and spat whenever a nurse came near me.

I'd better start acting like I'm feeling OK or Mrs Servant will cart me back to that horrible place, I just know it.

The warmest spot in the flat

Now that it's getting chillier, Mrs Servant puts the heating on in the evenings. That's good news for me, because I can resume my favourite winter-time position by the radiator in the hall.

I know my bed is very comfy, but it's much warmer here. You can also get some much-needed peace and quiet out here in the hall.

My peace is shattered

My peaceful patio garden is no longer peaceful. That nice man who lived in the flat downstairs has moved out and two small children now live there.

I know there's another patio I can use - because my territory rather handily encompasses two mini gardens - but two small children live in that flat, too!

Whenever they see me they charge towards me and try and pull my tail. Now I've got tail pullers in stereo. It's not easy being a cat.

Where has my scratch pole gone?

It really is most unfair. Mrs Servant threw away my scratching pole yesterday. I didn't think she could be so ruthless.

I've had that pole for AGES and it was just getting to that rather nice frayed stage. The new one she's got me just is not the same. No frayed bits or anything - plus a silly dangly toy mouse that I'm supposed to biff.

So I have decided I will not use it. EVER.

On the balcony

I live in a second-floor flat and one of my favourite pastimes is sitting out on the balcony. It gives me a great bird's eye view of the birds in the tree just opposite. I also like climbing onto the balcony railing, as I can command a much better view of what's happening in the park below. It's sometimes tricky to turn round, however....

Ten ways to miaow

Most humans think cats miaow and that's the end of it. But, actually, we make many different kinds of sounds. For example, I have different miaows for when:

• I'm saying hello
• I'm cross
• I want to go outside
• I can see birds on the balcony
• I want to go in the airing cupboard
• I'm hungry
• I'm VERY hungry
• I'm being disturbed
• I'm being abandoned at the vet's
• I'm stuck up a tree
  

And that's not including the hissing and howling sounds I make when I'm in a fight.

Luckily, Mrs Servant is very good at working out which miaow is which, so she pretty much understands what I'm trying to say to her. Trouble is, she's very good at ignoring me, so I end up tapping her on the arm or (when she's at her desk) jumping on her keyboard and flumping down on it. That always works.

A bird in the hand?

I came sneaking into the sitting room yesterday afternoon, hardly able to believe my luck. I could hear a blackbird tweeting IN THE ROOM! Ha ha - an easy target.

I ran all around but couldn't see the thing anywhere. I could hear it clearly enough; in fact, there seemed to be two in the room. But, the weird thing was, I couldn't smell it/them at all.

My suspicions were doubly aroused when the noise changed to what sounded like a goose. It was then I knew that Mr and Mrs Servant were playing some kind of game on me.

There were no birds at all - it was all coming from the CD. Pretty mean of them to trick me like that.

The yellow file

There's a favourite place on the sofa where I like to snooze in the evenings. However, last night Mr Servant had placed a large yellow file there. He didn't move it for me so I was forced into spending an uncomfortable evening...

My Favourite Chair and other things...

I'm so glad the weather is sunny again. It means I can lounge around outside to my heart's content. I just come inside for my meals and nip out again.

The other thing I'm glad about is Mr and Mrs Servant are back from their week away. This time, I had an Animal UNCLE come to look after me. He was very kind, but I'm sure Mrs Servant told him to shut me in the kitchen at night, because I had a whole week when I wasn't able to roam about the flat at night or jump on the bed whenever I felt like it.

Also, Mr and Mrs Servant lock their office door when they go away so I can't sit on my favourite chair. Now that they are back, I've been making the most of sitting on My Favourite Chair - even when Mr Servant is trying to sit on it. I make myself comfy and he has to perch on the edge....

Stuck up a tree - again

Hooray - this weekend was sunny, so I was able to resume my favourite pastime of sunbathing. Yesterday, Mr and Mrs Servant sat in the park so I was able to spend the afternoon there with them. I like the park because there's lots of juicy grass to chew on. However, it's too scary to go there on my own as I get chased by dogs. It's much safer if Mr and Mrs Servant are there.

But I heard that nasty dog, Taz, walking along the path so I shot up the nearest tree. That was a lucky move on my part because, no sooner was he gone, than a labrador and a spaniel came snooping along. I was able to spy on them from my lofty look out post, undetected.

It did mean I had to be rescued by Mr Servant because I was too high to jump down by myself.

Having my fur brushed

Here am I with Mrs Servant who is brushing my fur. Even though it's a scratchy wire brush, I really like it when she does this.

I don't like it though when Mr Servant brushes me - he always is too rough and makes a point of focusing on the bits of fur with knots in it. It really hurts, so I miaow crossly at him and then I scratch him if he doesn't pay heed to my warning.

Then he gets cross with me and I'm the one who gets told off. Sometimes life is so unfair.

Where is the sunshine?

I'm getting fed up with this wet weather. My favourite pastime is sunbathing and I've done precious little of it this summer. Here is a rare shot of me enjoying the sun. Soon, it will be chilly again and I will be forced to lie by the radiator.

Sometimes I think it would be nice to live somewhere warmer. I know I have a lovely fur coat but , as far as I'm concerned, the sunnier the better.

Punishment

Mrs Servant is now back, I'm happy to say. However, I made sure I was displeased with her disappearance so I decided to ignore her. I wouldn't let her pick me up, I ran off if she tried to stroke me and I hid behind the sofa until bedtime.

The thing is, if the person who feeds me goes off, how am I to know where my next meal is coming from? I can't be sure Mr Servant will give me food me in her absence, because he isn't my feeder usually. It's all very unsettling for a cat.

Anyhow, it's a relief that things are back to normal.

Where has Mrs Servant gone?

For some reason, Mrs Servant hasn't been here for two days. I spent some time looking behind doors and inside cupboards, thinking she might be hiding but I haven't been able to find her.

I'm not sure where she has gone but I hope she comes back soon, because Mr Servant is quite strict. He doesn't let me get away with anything. Also, he doesn't play games with me or give me little treats of yoghurt or stilton, like she does.

Sleeping in the office

It's always nice to vary where I sleep. No point in always snoozing in exactly the same place.
Recently, I've taken to slumbering on Mr Servant's rather comfy blue chair by his desk. Well, he's not there during the day, so it's always vacant. And Mrs Servant - who sits at an identical blue chair by her desk - is there to keep me company.

Face to face with the squirrel

One of the advantages of living where I do is that there are lots of trees all around. That means lots of birds and squirrels.

And, living on the second floor as I do, the birds in the plane tree just outside are tantalisingly close. They are frequent visitors to the balcony, especially the wood pigeons. Unfortunately, I can rarely get there quickly enough - they nearly always spot me before I get a chance to pounce.

The squirrel, on the other hand, is quite cheeky. He roots around for any leftover spring bulbs and isn't afraid to try and outstare me when I'm behind glass. However, when the French window is open, it's a different story. I chase out after him and he instantly leaps down to the bushes below. I know how to fend off intruders.

Bored

My two servants have gone away for the weekend and it's a bit quiet without them. I know that, most of the time, I spend most of the day asleep but it's always nice to know they are there.

Plus, I'm stuck in the flat, unable to go out. Luckily the weather is awful so I'm not missing out on my sunbathing.

As they only took little cases with them, maybe they'll be back today. I can recognise their footsteps from some distance away, so I'm always waiting by the front door for them when they turn the key in the lock.

Let's hope they get back before dark or it will be tomorrow before I can go outside. Meanwhile, I'll just hide under my sack and get some shut eye....zzzz

Stuck up a tree

Yesterday I got stuck up a tree. A nasty dog came along and I scooted up it to escape. The only problem with running up a tree is it's very difficult to run down again once the coast is clear.

I was in a tree by the far end of our block so Mrs Servant couldn't hear my maiows for help. I thought I'd be there for ever but, luckily, Fernando was passing and he rescued me.

Fernando is a useful person to know. He works for the company that manages our complex of flats, so he has keys to all the main doors to each block. That means, if I want to go inside and Mrs Servant isn't around, then I miaow at him and he lets me in.

Summer evenings

Just as I like to go outside on my terms - ie when it suits me (see last posting) - equally I don't like to be made to come inside when I'm having fun outdoors.

At this time of year, the evenings are warm and there are lots of moths to chase. I don't see why I should have my fun curtailed just because it's dark, so I'm very good at scampering away whenever my servants try and grab me.

They try and lure me in with cat treats but I wasn't born yesterday.

My servants say the foxes that live in our park come out in the evening but I'm very accomplished at frightening them off. They may be bigger than I am but I'm fiercer.

Anyhow, it's raining today so maybe I won't spend much time outside this evening. I think I'll relax on a comfy cushion on the sofa.

The Pawchester

I saw Mrs Servant reading a leaflet about The Pawchester the other day which is apparently a posh word for a cattery run by the horrid vet's I have to go to.

I'm slightly unnerved by this. Does this mean they are going to banish me to a cage when they go on holiday? Won't my nice, friendly Animal Aunt come and look after me any more??

Delaying tactics

I always enjoy exploring outside, especially when the weather is warm. However, I like to be the one who decides when I go out. My servants seem to make me go outside just when I'm having a nice lazy time dozing comfortably in my bed. It's most unfair.

I've got a decent repertoire of delaying tactics whenever the front door to the flat shuts behind me:

1. sit at the top of the stairs in the main hallway preening myself
2. sniff at every little thing on the hallway carpet
3. catch any moth that may be lurking in the hall
4. poke my head between the banister railings to see what, if anything, is happening on the floor below
5. flop down on the carpet (doesn't usually work, that one, as they pick me up and carry me out)
6. go down the stairs very slowly, stopping at every opportunity

Sometimes I employ all six tactics. It's fun to see how long I can string out a journey down two flights of stairs.

My favourite things

My top three favourite things to eat: tuna fish, Whiskas cat treats, stilton

My top three favourite things to drink: cream, the water from a tuna fish can, tomato soup

My top three favourite places to sleep: my servants' bed, my own bed, the airing cupboard

My top three favourite songs: 'We Will Rock You' by Queen and 'Daisy Daisy, Give Me Your Answer Do' (only when whistled, not sung). That's it, I don't have another song I like.

Home alone

My servants went away for the weekend, again. My cat feeder is very friendly but it means I can't go out for three whole days. (I live on the second floor and can't get out by myself.) And it's so boring being alone: there's no-one to play with and no lap to sit on.

Anyhow, life has now resumed as normal and I'm free to wander about outside in the warm sunshine for as long as I like.

My perfect day

My perfect day can be summed up in just a few simple words: sleep, sunbathe, eat, play, explore.

I like to get a good 16 hours' sleep in every day but that still leaves plenty of time for the other activities.

My day today has been pretty much like I've described above. Hopefully, tomorrow will, too.

My neighbours

There are two other cats which live near to me. One is a black cat called Alfie. Although he's quite shy, he's forever trying to enter my territory to say 'hello'. My servants think he's very sweet but I always shoo him away. I'm not going to share my patch with anyone else.

The other cat is Kitty. She's black and white. (Very monochrome the cat colour around here.) She's quite old but somehow has managed to stay very slender. (Sigh.) She's got an Australian dog called Taz living in her flat now. She tends to ignore him but I'm terrified of all dogs.

I always rush out to the balcony when I smell him coming along the path (I live on the second floor), because I need to keep my eye firmly on him at all times....


Here's me keeping guard on the balcony.

Stuck on the fence

There are two dogs, Max and Millie, which have recently moved to the complex and it's pretty scary when they run past my little garden area. I'm forced to take refuge by climbing up the trellis and onto the top of the fence. Trouble, is I can't get down as the fence is over seven foot high.

So, I'm effectively stuck up there until Mrs Servant spots my plight and comes to rescue me.

Actually, I CAN get down if no-one comes to my aid but it's more of an effort and involves quite a jump. So, it's much easier to look unhappy and miaow plaintively.

A trying day

Although I'm having fun today, the other day I wasn't so chipper. It all started when Mr Servant frightened the life out of me by pointing an electric toothbrush at me and the whirring noise really scared me. Then, soon after, the man with the white hair came back to do some noisy banging and drilling in the kitchen. That meant I was relegated to the main hallway of the block in order to get some peace and quiet.

I eventually went outside but a torrential downpour followed by great claps of thunder ensued. All this noise quite put me off my food.

Weight training

Well, this photo says it all. Yesterday, Mr Servant decided he wanted to do some weight training and he used ME as the weight!! I'm not quite sure why I actually allowed him to hoist me unceremoniously in the air but I s'pose I have to humour him from time to time. I certainly hope this was a one-off, because I don't think I will be so magnanimous next time.

Back to normal

Well, my two servants are back which I'm very pleased about. However, I spent the first two hours making it very plain that I didn't like them being away. I sat with my back to them and miaowed crossly every time they tried to speak to me. These servants need teaching a lesson or two.

Mind you, it was fairly cushy being looked after by the Animal Aunt. She stayed in bed until about 10am every day and ALLOWED ME ON THE BED!! I must admit I played her up a bit. You see, the weather was rather nice and I wanted to stay out longer in the evenings, so I'd prance just out of her reach whenever she tried to grab me.

The weather is still lovely, so it's one long round of sunbathing for me....

Fun and games

Although I'm having a fun time with my Animal Aunt, I do miss my two servants. Mrs Servant in particular, because she likes to play games with me. There are two I like best of all. One is where I chase round after a silver chain. I'm quite good at jumping up and catching it. The other game I really enjoy is attacking a long feather that she wiggles around under my sack. I can play with that for hours. I pretend it's a mouse and pounce on it. Then I run into the sack and hide inside it.

Going on holiday

I thought as much. My servants have got their suitcases out of the cupboard, so they are definitely going away. And the fact they were going around tidying up suggests an Animal Aunt is coming to look after me.

I wonder which one it will be this time? They're all nice, of course, but I especially liked the lady with the bicycle. She spent ages stroking and brushing me.

Of course, I'm going around looking upset with that 'why are you going away again' expression on my face but secretly I'm looking forward to being pampered by the Animal Aunt.

Fly in my soup

Although I enjoy biffing flies with my paws and catching them if I'm speedy enough, I can't BEAR it when they land in my saucer of water.


And this isn't just any old water. It's spring water from a can of tuna fish, so it's really lovely and tuna-y. But not quite the same with a fly doing the back stroke.

It's 4:10am, so it's time to get up

I usually wake up around 4:10am. Not sure why it's always the same time, but it just is. I used to be incarcerated in the kitchen at night so, when I woke up, I'd miaow as loudly as I could for as long as it took for my servants to come and release me. If it was on a day when they weren't working, I could be miaowing for about five hours. They can be so deaf at times.

They must have become fed up with my noise because now I'm free to sleep in my lovely comfy bed on the sofa in the sitting room. And just after 4am, I pad into their room and jump on the bed - the side where Mrs Servant sleeps, as she doesn't push me off.

I know just how far I can push the limit when it comes to sleeping on their bed. If I'm still there when Mr Servant comes out of the shower and Mrs Servant is preparing my breakfast then I get a real telling off. So, as soon as I hear the bathroom door open, I scoot off to the kitchen so he thinks I've been up ever since he has.

Getting my own back

One day last week my servant was being jolly unfair. I wanted to go outside and, for some reason, she totally ignored me. It was a sunny day, the birds were beckoning, the squirrel was just waiting to be chased down the path but I appeared to be under house arrest.

I spied her lovely bright red Ignes handbag on the carpet near my scratching pole. So, to get my own back, I went over and had a wee on it. It got the desired effect. She was pretty cross with me and shooed me out the flat. :)

Why I like my Animal Aunt

When my two servants go on their summer holiday, a nice Animal Aunt comes to stay. It's not always the same one but, without exception, they are all v. nice.

They spend hours brushing my coat and stroking me and generally making a big FUSS of me. I reward them by jumping on their laps and being very affectionate and friendly. Of course, I do miss my two servants when they are away, but I always look forward to the Animal Aunt coming.

I hate it when my servants go away for the weekend because I'm shut in the flat the whole time. Granted, a friendly man comes to feed me and play with me twice a day but it's not quite the same as having an Animal Aunt lavishing attention on me all day long.

Mmm, come to think of it, my servants are due a holiday any time now as they always go away in June. I just hope they choose a week away and not a series of weekend breaks...

From Hackney to Fulham

As I have mentioned before, I have two servants to look after me. One I can twist round my little paw and the other is quite strict with me (considering he's my servant). But he's not all bad though - he does have a rather comfy lap.

I haven't always had these two as servants. I used to live in another part of London - Hackney - with a manservant and my son, Pancake. One day, we all moved to Fulham and then a nasty lady came to live with us.

Actually, I'd been thinking of doing a bunk for a while because Pancake bullied me the whole time and life was getting to be a bit of a bind with him around. So, when they moved to another flat in the complex, I decided to stay put and make my home in the communal hallway.

There were five other flats in the block and I was sure there would be someone I would like enough to go and live with. The four Kiwis, for example. They invited me in and fed me on a regular basis and I was sure I could be happy with them. So, every time my manservant came to collect me and take me back to their new flat, I'd run back to my old block.

The only downside was the fact the Kiwis played loud music. You see, music grates on my sensitive cat ears. Next door to the Kiwis was a couple who didn't play loud music, didn't have any pets and, importantly, one of them worked from home so I'd have a companion during the day. The only problem was, they wouldn't let me in.

Every day I waited by their door and tried to streak into their home as soon as they put their key in the lock. The more they prevented me from entering, the more convinced I was there must be something good in there that they were trying to stop me from getting at.

Anyhow, persistence paid off. After a few months of living in the hall, and running back every time my previous servant tried to collect me, I was finally allowed into the 'Forbidden Flat'! I've been here a few years now and I have to say I landed in the lap of luxury.

Moral of the story: always follow your instincts!

Here is me enjoying my home....

Forced under the shower

It can be tough being a cat. I know most people think we laze around all day doing nothing very much, but life isn't always a bed of roses. For example, not long ago my two 'servants' forced me under the shower and scrubbed me. Everyone knows how cats hate water so it was extremely cruel of them to put me through this. Just look at this picture.

My beautiful fur all soggy and matted.

OK, I did hide under a low sports car parked outside and I got a bit of oil on my back but is that a reason for subjecting me to such horrors?

A spoonful of sugar...

Have you ever noticed how inept some humans are at administering medication to their pets?

Take my two servants, for example. I recently had to take a week's course of antibiotics after a horrid tom cat gave me a nasty bite. It took both of them all their combined efforts to prise open my jaws and ram the tablet unceremoniously down my throat. You'd think I was some untamed beast they way they were carrying on.

Anyhow, there was no way I was going to swallow it, so I hid it in my cheek and spat it out surreptitiously when they weren't looking. (Smirk.)

It's even funnier when I have to take medicine. I remember some bright orange stuff which they had to syringe into my mouth. It didn't taste too bad but I felt I had to put up a twice-daily struggle. Why make it easy for them?

My favourite trick was to fool them into thinking the syringe was safely in my mouth then, at the last second, I'd jerk my head to one side, resulting in bright orange liquid squirting all over Mr Servant's nice white work shirt. Hee hee.

House arrest

As I suspected, my servants went and left me for the weekend. And that means I was under house arrest for three whole days while they were having a fun time somewhere. I had to content myself with looking at the big outside world imprisoned behind glass.

I tried to sneak past The Feeder when he came in but he's a bit quick for me and always manages to shut the door before I can nip out. And the other thing was, I only got TWO meals a day from him instead of the customary five.

On the plus side, I was able to sleep just as long as I liked without being disturbed. Also, I could lounge around on the nice comfy cushions without being told off. And I could sunbathe on the carpet without being moved into the shade. It really irritates me when they do that. My servants seem to think my pink ears will burn if I lie in the sun too much, so I'm always getting moved - or worse still they shut the curtains completely so no sunlight can get into the room at all. It feels like Miss Havisham's place at times.

Anyhow, they are now back so I've been able to potter around outside to my heart's content today. I think I might make my point and play them a bit of a song and dance when they try and get me to come in this evening...

Lazing in the sun

Hooray, hooray, a lovely warm day today! That means I can pursue my favourite pastime: sunbathing. I make it perfectly obvious that I want to go outside (miaowing extra loudly by the front door) but my two servants just ignore me.

You see, I live in a flat on the second floor so I can't get out by myself. For some selfish reason, they eat breakfast and then spend AGES getting ready before letting me out.

I scamper down the two flights of stairs and scoot out the main door.

My sunbathing plans are pushed aside for a moment as there's a blackbird casually hopping about with his back to me. I love it when I can sneak up on birds unawares. Drat, he's flown into a nearby bush before I can pounce. I do love to keep the neigbourhood birds on their toes.

I jump onto the green chair on the neighbour's patio, curl up and prepare for a few hours of snoozing. I have the whole day ahead of me for lazing around. This is the life. I just hope the two little girls from the other ground floor flat don't come and prod me.