Will I get fed?

I get slightly unnerved when Mrs Servant is out for the evening. You see, I can never be exactly sure that Mr Servant will give me any food. Sometimes he forgets.

So I'm always very relieved when I hear Mrs Servant coming up the stairs and the front door opens.

Not being a dog, I don't wag my tail and bark enthusiastically. But, secretly, I am very pleased.

I don't like having my tail washed

Yesterday I had to suffer the indignity of having my tail washed. They know perfectly well I HATE water in any shape or form. And anyhow, I'm quite happy to have dirty marks on my tail.

I must say, though, that it IS rather soft and silky now that it's been shampooed.

Breakfast an hour late

Yesterday Mr Servant gave me my breakfast an hour later than normal. And, today, Mrs Servant was also an hour late. Don't they realise I get hungry first thing and my tummy rumbles like mad if I don't get fed on time?

Duvet heaven

Mrs Servant has been sick this week - lots of noisy coughing and stuff. Still, the good part is that I get to laze about on a thick, soft duvet so that I can keep her company. I know I have a nice cosy cat bed but you really can't beat a delightfully comfortable continental quilt.

I've been so happy this week that I even licked Mrs Servant's cheek one day.

The black cat has returned

Some while ago, there used to be a nasty black cat which used to attack me. Once, as I tried to escape, he sank his teeth into my tail and I got a very painful bite. I had to take some horrid tablets for ages afterwards.

Anyhow, he disappeared a couple of years ago. Such a relief, I can tell you.

But he has returned.

Every evening at dusk he comes prowling around, making a really horrible growling noise. I'm not allowed out at dark (because there are foxes in our park) so I haven't had to come face-to-face with him.

I just hope he doesn't decide to come round earlier in the day. You see, he knows exactly where I live and sits outside the front door waiting for me. Yikes, scary....

Cat suit

Mrs Servant likes to wear black but she doesn't like it when I leave white hairs all over her clothes. So in the evenings she wears a white 'cat suit'. That means I can spend time sleeping on her lap (or just generally sprawling) and the tell-tale hairs are nowehere to be seen.

Sunny weather

Hooray for sunny days. Just when it's about time to start thinking about hunkering down for the winter, it's suddenly summer again. And, for a cat whose favourite pastime is sunbathing, I'm very happy.

Grating on my ears

Both The Servants have this thing where they whistle 'Daisy Daisy, give me your answer do'. I like this song a lot and I usually go trotting over to them when they whistle 'my tune'.

However, cats have very sensitive hearing and sometimes Mrs Servant's whistling is pretty harsh on my lug 'oles. (And it's out of tune).

Take last night, for instance. The sound was so unbearable that I miaouwed at her to stop. She didn't, of course, so I got up, turned around and walked out the room. There is only so much a cat's ears can take.

Give me a record by Queen any day.

My favourite film

Although I like sitting on the chair Mr Servant uses in the office, I don't look at his computer much. However, I DO enjoy watching this little film whenever he goes onto YouTube:

The hand biter

I bit a little girl's hand yesterday. I know I shouldn't have done it. I got cornered and felt trapped, so I only did it in self defence.

She was visiting a neighbour and came up to stroke me, but there are three things that are guaranteed to freak me out: 1. the rustling noise that plastic bags make; 2. dogs; and 3. small children.

I shall have to make myself scarce when small children wander onto my territory in future. It's not in my nature to bite and I don't like getting told off afterwards. And, besides, small children don't taste all that nice.

I don't like suitcases

Mrs Servant is cross with me. It's all the suitcase's fault.

You see, whenever the Servants go away, they take the suitcase with them. Where does the suitcase need to go - and why does it have to go there quite so often? And why do they never take me?

I don't like that suitcase. So when I saw it in their bedroom yesterday, I decided to take my revenge and wee on it. Unfortunately, most if it went on their red carpet but certainly some ended up on the nasty case. Serves it right.

But Mrs Servant gave me a real telling off for my act of revenge. (Why do they like that suitcase so much?) So, now I'm in the doghouse. Which is a place that, as a cat, I do not like to be.

Silver trails

This morning I saw a long, thin silver string running from the French windows, through the bedroom and into the bathroom. "Hooray," I thought to myself, "I've been given a new game."

So I patted the string with my paw, and patted it again. But it didn't move.

I sniffed it. It certainly didn't smell like string, nor a silver chain. Then I saw a brown, slimy thing in the corner of the room - right by the bidet where I like to go and hide. It had funny horns that it was waggling at me. I didn't like the look of it, so I ran off.

By the sound of it, Mrs Servant didn't much like the look of it either. I'm sure it won't be back in a hurry.

I'm not flobby

The problem with Mr Servant being around during the day a lot is that he sits in the chair I like to snooze in. I also have to put up with his strict regime.

For example, just now I was spending a few hours fast asleep in my comfy bed. My paws were over my eyes - that's my 'do not disturb' sign - but he insisted on prodding me awake and forcing me out of my bed. And out of the flat. He even had the cheek to say "You'll end up all flobby if all you do is sleep".

What he doesn't realise is cats happen to need lots of sleep. It's what keeps us active and alert at night.

Mental note to self: wake up Mr Servant several times tonight by walking over him when he's asleep in bed.

The things I have to put up with

Sometimes I think Mrs Servant goes out of her way to frighten me.

Both the servants went out this morning and forced me outside. While they were gone it rained hard and I was left to get soaking wet. When they came back, Mrs Servant rubbed me dry with a towel (which I like). But then she went and got this very loud thing that blew hot air over me.

It was terrifying.

Luckily I'm very good at struggling free, so I only got about two seconds of noisy hot air.

It's high time I was left in peace so I can have a nice, quiet snooze....

Hiding in the bathroom

Something I really enjoy is skulking off to Mrs Servant's bathroom (for some reason they have one each) and settling down for a good snooze, huddled between the bath and the bidet.

This is a habit I formed when I lived in the flat downstairs. My horrid son, Pancake, used to bully me and hound me off the comfy chair that WAS MY OWN, so I was forced to take refuge in the bathroom. At least, there, I could get some peace and quiet and a bit of shut eye.

Old habits die hard.

Dirty face, what dirty face?

My servants are away again. But the friendly Animal Aunt is back, so I'm having a v. good time. When the children who live downstairs aren't playing on my patio area, I like to make the most of it and roll about for ages in the soil.

Tuna fish-flavoured water

There's nothing I like finer on a warm summer's day like today than quenching my thirst.

I never drink plain water, however. I will only lap up tuna fish-flavoured water. There is absolutely nothing more delicious. (Well, apart from cream of course, but that doesn't quench your thirst when you've been out sunbathing for ages.)

A day in the life of Daisy Sprockett

4am: Wake up, Belt at top speed round the flat.
4.10am: Wander into Mr and Mrs Servants' bedroom. Jump on their bed and walk over them a few times to ensure they are awake. Purr loudly to ensure they continue to stay awake. Find a comfy spot on the duvet and nod off.
7.00am: Woken up. Eat breakfast.
7.05am: Jump into my own bed in the living room and snooze for the morning.
10.59am: Go and see Mrs Servant in her office and tap on her arm to remind her about my elevenses.
11.30am: Eventually get my elevenses. Time to go outside to check on what's happening in my territory. Then a nice relaxing laze in the sun.
2.30pm: Wait outside entrance to the block as I want to come in and go to the loo.
2.50pm: Still waiting outside.
3.00pm: Eventually let in. Dash to my litter tray. I much prefer to use my own lavatory rather than go outside.
3.10pm: Sit on the chair on the balcony and keep an eye on the dogs in the park. No sign of that nasty dog, Taz, so have another nap.
5.59pm:Go and see Mrs Servant in her office and tap on her arm to remind her about my 6 o'clock supper.
6.01pm: This time I get fed immediately, which is lucky, as I'm starving. Have a game with Mrs Servant. Playing with my red feather is my favourite game. Have a quick chew on my cable.
8.15pm: Spend much of the evening snoozing on Mr Servant's lap.
11.00pm: Eat my last meal of the day. Sit by the front door in the hope I'll be allowed out. There are loads of interesting things to explore at night. But, as usual, I'm not allowed. (Can't blame me for trying...) So, I jump into my bed and settle down for a well-earned rest.

Hooray for spring

I've been a bit lazy about my blog recently. Now that the light mornings and evenings are here I like to be out and about investigating my territory. There are loads of baby birds to watch and cats - who dare wander onto my patch - to chase off.

Then, in between, there's sunbathing to do.

Mr Servant is spending more time at home at the moment. Not quite sure why. Anyhow, the result is that my daytime regime is pretty strict. Another reason why I like to make myself scarce and lurk about outside.

This morning he actually SHOUTED at me for being asleep on their bed. I am what's termed 'a senior cat', so I think I'm entitled to the occasional rest on a bed.

Famous people from Hackney

Before I moved to Fulham, I lived in Hackney in East London, where I was born.

There are a number of famous people who were also born in Hackney:

• Marc Bolan, the lead singer of T. Rex,
• Daniel Defoe, author of Robinson Crusoe
• The playwright, Harold Pinter
• Jessica Tandy, who starred in Driving Miss Daisy (a film I like)
• Tony Robinson (aka Baldrick)
• Astronomer, Edmond Halley who named Halley’s Comet
• TV personality, Jeremy Beadle
• Businessman, Sir John Harvey Jones
• Darts champion, Eric Bristow
• Dennis Norden, the radio and TV personality

Barbara Windsor moved to Hackney when she was a small girl and Jimmy Choo moved there to study shoe design. Even Alfred Hitchcock began his film career in Hackney.

Anyhow, it's years since was there and I’m now a Fulhamite....

Happy Birthday to me

It's my birthday today and I received the customary small bowl of double cream. I can't think of a more delicious present. Yum.

I tried to chance my luck and nip onto the bed for a quick snooze, thinking I may be given special birthday dispensation. But no - Mr Servant told me to get off straightaway. Well, you can't blame me for trying.

In case you are wondering, I am 13 in human years today.

Holidays...

The Servants have gone and left me again.

But the good news is that nice Animal Aunt has come back to look after me. She's a very kind lady who's not at all strict, so I'm having a break from Mr Servant's strict regime. Although I do miss sitting on his lap in the evenings....

Nowhere to hide

I've had my whiskers put out of joint. I like to while away many a happy hour hiding under a large bush that's just by my front door. No-one can spot me but I can see everything that's going on. It's also a great place to shelter when it's raining. But someone has taken the bush away and put two big flower pots in its place. So now I have nowhere to hide.

Even worse, this bush was behind a trellis fence so I was safe from marauding dogs. But whoever took away the bush has also taken a section of fencing away, so now I'm doubly exposed. It really is most unfair.

Camouflage

Mr Servant doesn't allow me on the bed, but I managed to stay there all the time he was getting ready to go to work without being noticed.

It's quite handy that I'm white and so is the duvet....

Funny looking piglet

For some reason, Mrs Servant likes piglets and she got a toy one for her birthday.

She really likes it, but I just can't see what's so great about it.

Chewing feathers

My birthday is in May and I usually get a small bowl of cream as my present. However, last year, I was given a rather fantastic feather boa which is just brilliant to play with.

I spend ages chewing it and can pretend it's a bird without getting told off.

A vegetarian cat

I've spent all my life not liking meat. I don't eat any kind of meat. I like fish (especially tuna and salmon) but can't stand anything like pork, chicken, steak etc.

Well, until just recently, that is. I'm still keen on vegetarian stuff (especially home-made soups) but, after all this time of turning up my nose at turkey, beef and steak, I suddently discover they're all really tasty!!

I'm hoping Mrs Servant might be nice to me and give me some other kinds of meat to try.

Hooray for soup

When The Servants eat something they think I might like, I invariably get a little taste once they've finished eating. (I'm lucky like that.)

Today, I was especially lucky because Mrs Servant had mushroom soup for lunch and Mr Servant had tomato soup. I think both are delicious. In fact, if I had to choose between the two for yumminess, I'd be really hard pushed.

Well, maybe tomato soup because any tomatoey thing is yum, yum, yummy. Or maybe the mushroom if it's CREAM of mushroom soup. I'm fairly indecisive when it comes to things like this, so just as well I was able to have both.

Unceremoniously treated

I know I have to be cajoled to go out when it's cold, but I definitely didn't enjoy the way Mr Servant tried to get me to go out yesterday.

He prodded my bottom with a broom handle.

You can be sure I made it clear what I thought of THAT.

Short changed

I wish Mrs Servant would go back to giving me my breakfast. Mr Servant has decided to give me fewer biscuits every morning and it's not fair. Just because he's given up alcohol for Lent doesn't mean he has to make me do without.

Anyhow, after he's gone to work I sit looking dolefully at my bowl and miaouw at Mrs Servant until she gives me extra biscuits.

What a way to spend the morning

Today started much the same as usual. Breakfast, sleep....then Mrs Servant unceremoniously bundled me into that horrid cage thing.

This means one thing: the dreaded vet. If truth be told, I quite like the journey there. I can sniff all kinds of new smells and see new things - all from the safety of my cage.

However, as soon as we got to the postbox on the corner, I knew we were just a few seconds away. So I dived into the rear of the cage and hid. I told myself: "If he tries to pull me out, I'll hiss and spit and scratch."

He tipped my cage on its end but I hung on tightly with my front claws. I held out for as long as I could but eventually I was pinned to the table. Then the nasty vet gave me an injection. After that, he peered into my ears and eyes and mouth. I hate people doing that to me - especially the VET.

Luckily we came home straight away and I've spent the rest of the day asleep, trying to forget my stressful morning.

A yummy meal

Mr and Mrs Servant often let me try a tiny bit of their leftovers after their evening meal and last night I was able to try salmon mousse, crab AND smoked mackerel. It was absolutely delicious and such a lovely change from the nasty stuff in pouches I usually have to eat.

More stick news

In my last posting, I remarked how much fun it is playing 'twig' with Mrs Servant. As you can see from this short clip, it's a bit boring when Mr Servant is in charge of this twig. He just waggles it at me and expects me to perform.

A fun stick

Mrs Servant found a great twig outside the other day and it's tremendous fun to play with. I could chase after it and pounce on it for hours. Thing is, Mrs Servant gets bored quite easily so I have to amuse myself with it.

Bites

Mrs Servant was cross with me today. All I did was bite her elbow but she really gave me a telling off. Life's not fair sometimes.

What she doesn't understand is that I enjoy giving people the odd little nip. Just occasionally it turns into a bigger gnash than I'd intended.

Snow

Today it's all cold and snowy. Mr and Mrs Servant forced me out in it but I didn't like it.

No rhyme nor reason

I can't quite understand my servants sometimes. One day they force me to go outside when all I want to do is stay in the nice warm flat. Then the next day, I'm all keen to go out exploring but they make me stay in.

I really can't fathom them out at all.

Roast beef

I'm a vegetarian cat. Not because I think it's cruel to eat other animals; it's because I can't bear the taste of meat. Turkey, pork, beef, ham, chicken. Yuk yuk yuk.

Today Mrs Servant offered me a small piece of cold roast beef. She's always doing this and she knows full well I don't eat meat - so I usually ignore her. But the beef she was offering me today was absolutely delicious. In fact, it was so yummy, I started purring.