He's back

The horrible black cat who likes to attack me is back. Problem is, he's smaller and younger than I am and so much fleeter of foot.

I'd thought I'd seen the last of him because he hasn't been around for ages. He's got a nasty wailing miaow and he is no respecter of MY territory.

Once he bit my tail until it bled. He really crunched into it. I had to go to the vet and have an injection and then take tablets for a week. It was a traumatic experience and I'm very unhappy to see that he is back.

It wasn't me

Mr Servant was cross yesterday because, every time he tried to print something, the paper kept on getting caught up and going wonky.

He then discovered the key to the window lock was stuck in the printer and, of course, I got the blame. He jumped to the conclusion that I had knocked it in when I jumped down from the window ledge.

He has no proof. It could just as easily have been Mrs Servant who dropped the key into the printer when she was locking the window. It's most unfair the way I get told off for stuff.

My chewy cable

When I feel like a bit of distraction, there are two things I enjoy doing. One, as I've already mentioned, is diving onto - and into - my hessian sack. The other is chewing my cable. It was black and fairly thick at first but it now seems to be much thinner and have lots of different colours. You can see me enjoying a chew on my cable in the short clip below.

Things that scare me

I'm generally a brave cat and will face up to dogs as big as labradors. I once even shoulder-biffed a rather-too-curious-for-its-own-good little dog and sent it sprawling. I say 'little' but it WAS twice my size.

However, brave as I may be, there are certain things that never fail to scare me.

• tin foil (just seeing Mrs Servant take the foil out of the drawer is enough to make me flee)
• plastic bags (that incredibly loud rustling noise they make really alarms me)
• fireworks
• nasty dogs (especially Taz)
• going to the vet

Lazy, moi?

I often hear Mrs Servant complaining that I'm a lazy cat, because all I do is sleep. But, in my defence, that's what cats do. We sleep.

Even lions spend most of their day asleep. And, I have to say, what's wrong with a long-ish snooze during the day? There's nothing finer than curling up in my lovely bed and getting a bit of well-earned shut eye.

And, besides, I'm very active every morning at 4am when Mrs Servant is fast asleep.

Foxes and rabbits and things

One of the fantastic things about living in a small park (as I do), is there is an endless supply of birds to stalk and chase. I'm not very good at knowing all the different sorts but there are big black ones, small black ones, different sized brown ones, yellow and blue ones and even black and white ones.

There are also about six or seven squirrels that I like to annoy. Although they are far too quick for me when they shoot up tree trunks.

The downside is the family of foxes that lives in the park. I can stand my ground very well against them but Mrs Servant won't let me out when it's dark, because she thinks they'll attack me. And I love going out in the dark.

Anyhow, imagine my surprise the other day when I saw four rabbits! They were down by the leisure centre, hopping about quite happily. They'd better watch out as I bet that nasty dog Taz will attack them.

Athlete's paw

I've got athlete's paw in my hind right paw and it's itchy.

It means that twice I day I have to be seized by Mr Servant while Mrs Servant puts this cold gunky stuff on it. Then, although I try and wriggle away, I'm forced to stay on Mr Servant's lap for what seems ages.

When I am eventually set free, it takes me ages to lick all that stuff off.

Bonfire Night

I hate Bonfire Night. All those bangs and whizzes really scare me. I know I'm safely inside but it feels like they're going to shoot right in the room and land on me.

And, the thing is, these loud noises go on ALL week - not just tonight. So I've got several stressful evenings ahead of me. I think I'll go and hide in the dark in Mrs Servant's bathroom. I'll be safer there.

Good places for a nap

I reported last week that I like to spend time warming myself by the radiator in the hall. While that's true, I also have other places I like to take a nap. Such as the airing cupboard (bit messy), Mrs Servant's wardrobe (even messier) and Mrs Servant's bathroom (nice and dark when the light's off).